Only in Hull. Poems and Rhymes about a North East Coast Town. Poetry mainly for laughs.

Rhymes and poems by authors from Hull, even though one of them did reside in Spain. Many are inspired by news reports published on the Hull Daily Mail Website  Hull, or Kingston Upon Hull to give it ‘s regal title, is a wonderful living soap opera.
Please click on one of the category buttons on the black menu bar above to enter our world. Please feel free to use the poems for non commercial purposes but please acknowledge the author and website. It is never dull in Kingston upon Hull!

Larkin didn’t exactly endear himself to the folk of Hull with references to our “grim head scarfed  wives”. The resourceful, matriarchal wives of Maritime Hull, both fishing and “big boating”, are now a vanishing breed, celebrated here by Sid:

Into the local corner shop
The young wife briskly strode,
The kind of self sufficient lass
They breed on Hessle Road.

She pointed to a small display
Beneath the eggs and lard,
Of “Ex lax” chocolate laxative
And said, “I’ll take the card.”

The lady behind the counter
Showed the sympathetic look
Of those well schooled in mortal life
Not instructed by the book.

She said, “Just one small piece of that
Will ease the direst plight
A single bar is quite enough,
If not, use dynamite.”

The young wife’s face went beetroot red
She glanced from side to side
She dropped her voice and forward leaned
Her secret to confide.

“My husband got back two days ago
And God knows where he went,
Playing the three day millionaire
Till his settlings all were spent.

Once he was skint he came back home
And crashed out on the floor
I doubt if I’ll see sense from him
Till it’s time for sea once more.

But as I’m the forgiving kind,
As all good wives should be,
I’m making him a chocolate cake
To take with him, back to sea.

A knowing, sympathetic smile
Traversed the grocer’s face
Unspoken words of sisterhood
Resounded through that space.

“I can only sell you half a card
But that should suit you fine.
I’ve a cake to bake myself today
And I may need some for mine!”

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About onlyinhull

Kipling was the bard of Empire, Tennyson chronicled heroic events. We are a collection of rhyming Victor Meldrews from Hull producing rhymes, poems, poetry, ditties, odes, call it what you will.
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