Only in Hull. Poems and Rhymes about a North East Coast Town. Poetry mainly for laughs.

Rhymes and poems by authors from Hull, even though one of them did retire to Spain. Many are inspired by news reports published on the Hull Daily Mail Website.  Hull, or Kingston Upon Hull to give it’s regal title, is a wonderful living soap opera.
Please click on one of the category buttons on the black menu bar above to enter our weird world. Please feel free to use the poems for non commercial purposes but please acknowledge the author and website. It is never dull in Kingston upon Hull!

Councils need to cover their backs these days but it sometimes seems as if the simplest matters of life are being strangled by red tape!

The Risk!

In olden times the Morris Men (and women)
Just turned up in some place
They’d strut  their stuff to cheer the crowds
Then parted with good grace.

But in this litigation age
Where  shysters call the shout,
A risk assessment must be done
Before we can dance out.

We must watch out for breaking sticks
Flying through the crowds
Or waving hankies raising dust
In choking swirling clouds.

Will there be any traffic there?
Will we block the path or road?
Disrupt the smooth pedestrian flow
Or frighten newt or toad?

And then there is the level of sound.
From jingling bells, too right
We must ensure no decibel
Above the safest height.

No trailing wires to trip folks up
No high volt electrical ware
No noxious substances wafting about
Polluting the local air.

Have baldrics and breaches had their day?
In future must we dance
In high vis vests and safety boots
And bright, hard hats, perchance?

Our safety goggles, padded gloves
And something for our knees.
Have all our sticks been proven free
From every plant disease?

Perhaps I’m just too old for this
My star is growing pale
Should I take up chess or tiddly winks
Till its time to hit the trail.




About onlyinhull

Kipling was the bard of Empire, Tennyson chronicled heroic events. We are a collection of rhyming Victor Meldrews from Hull producing rhymes, poems, poetry, ditties, odes, call it what you will.
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2 Responses to Only in Hull. Poems and Rhymes about a North East Coast Town. Poetry mainly for laughs.

  1. Jamie says:

    Hello I read your work “The Risk” in the Morris Federation Newsletter was amused and impressed. I squire Hulls Border Morris Team Rackaback Morris and great to read work I can relate to and we are complemented by the inclusion of a photo of us.
    I hope you don’t mind if we include and cite some of your works in what we do.

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